About Jules Sherred

Jules Sherred is the parent of two teenage boys, freelance writer, web designer, author of Five Little Zombies and Fred, General Manager and radio personality at The Look 24/7, owner of the largest Star Trek community on Google+, Geeky Pleasures creator, geek support for Parsec Award winning The Minister of Chance, and more. On the Geeky Pleasures Radio Show, Jules has interviewed Wil Wheaton, Jonathan Coulton, Phil Plait, Sylvester McCoy, Richard Hatch, Paul and Storm, R.A. Salvatore, John Kovalic, and so many more. Jules' writing can also be found on Hugo Award winning SF Signal, GeekMom, United Federation of Pla.net/s, Nerdy With Children, Star Wars vs Star Trek. Slowly, Jules is working on another book titled Nerd Love. You can follow Jules on Twitter @GeekyJules. Also, JULES LOVES STAR TREK.

Win 1 of 2 Copies of ‘Redshirts’ by John Scalzi

June 5, 2012, will be the release of Redshirts by John Scalzi.

The synopsis of Redshirts reads:

Ensign Andrew Dahl has just been assigned to the Universal Union Capital Ship Intrepid, flagship of the Universal Union since the year 2456. It’s a prestige posting, and Andrew is thrilled all the more to be assigned to the ship’s Xenobiology laboratory.

Life couldn’t be better…until Andrew begins to pick up on the fact that (1) every Away Mission involves some kind of lethal confrontation with alien forces, (2) the ship’s captain, its chief science officer, and the handsome Lieutenant Kerensky always survive these confrontations, and (3) at least one low-ranked crew member is, sadly, always killed.

Not surprisingly, a great deal of energy below decks is expendedon avoiding, at all costs, being assigned to an Away Mission. Then Andrew stumbles on information that completely transforms his and his colleagues’ understanding of what the starship Intrepid really is…and offers them a crazy, high-risk chance to save their own lives.

You can read my review here. As I said in my review open love letter to John Scalzi, Redshirts is… well you’ll just have to read it, if you haven’t already. The TL;DR version of the review:

PEOPLE! I’M SO IN LOVE WITH THIS BOOK. RIDICULOUS TECHNOBABBLE. THE NARRATIVE. THE BOX. A CRAZY PARADOX. A SHUTTLE GOING INTO A REVERSE FIBONACCI SPIRAL! YOU MUST READ THIS BOOK WHEN IT IS RELEASED NEXT WEEK!!! JOHN SCALZI’S BRAIN IS A WONDERFUL PLACE. READ THE BOOK, DAMN IT!

I have 2 copies of this book to giveaway, courtesy of Tor Books.

Contest Details:

  1. Redshirts is a wonderful spoof and homage to Star Trek and the science fiction television genre as a whole. With this in mind, leave a comment telling me your favourite Star Trek quote(s) – any series — or favourite bit(s) of Star Trek technobabble — any series. Warning: If by some bizarre chance, I do not automatically recognise the bit you are quoting, I will be using the Google machine to find it. If I cannot find the quote in the Google machine, you risk having your comment not count.
  2. Only one comment per person. Leaving multiple comments will disqualify you. When leaving a comment, please use a valid e-mail address so that I can notify you if you win.
  3. You have until Monday, June 11, 2012 at 23:59 PDT to leave a comment. At that time, I’ll use a random number generator to select two winners. Winners will be notified by e-mail on Tuesday, June 12, 2012. Winners will be announced on this website on Tuesday, June 12, 2012 at 16:00 PDT.
  4. If you have any questions, please e-mail me.

Redshirts by John Scalzi will be available on June 5, 2012. You can pre-order now on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Indigo Books & Music. You can purchase it Tuesday, June 5, 2012, where ever books are sold. You can read the first five chapter on Tor.com. You can download the first four chapters, free, at Amazon, Kobo Books and Barnes & Noble.


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91 Responses to Win 1 of 2 Copies of ‘Redshirts’ by John Scalzi

  1. JC says:

    Kirk, making the Vulcan salute: How many fingers do I have up?
    Dr. McCoy: That’s not very damn funny.

  2. Jules Ius says:

    Possibly one of my favorite bits of technobabble, B’Elanna Torres (Voyager) pays homage to another sci-fi/adventure hit: “I’m going to try adjusting the flux capacitance.”

  3. Michael O'Brien says:

    Data, to the Borg Queen: “Resistance is FUTILE!”

  4. TheTick says:

    “I’m a Doctor, not a bricklayer!”
    “You’re a healer, there’s a patient. That’s an Order.”

    Dr. McCoy is the best.

  5. Pam says:

    “Darmok and Jalad at Tanagra.”

  6. John Larberg says:

    “Another glorious chapter in Klingon history. Tell me, do they still sing songs of The Great Tribble Hunt?” – Odo to Worf.

  7. Michael Anino says:

    Hello, Computer! -Scotty

  8. Cody Glenn says:

    “Seize the time, Meribor – live now! Make now always the most precious time. Now will never come again.” – Picard, as Kamin, to his daughter.

  9. Kurt Loy says:

    “What if they went nowhere?”
    “Then this’ll be your big chance to get away from it all. “

  10. Debra Redfern says:

    Spock: You have been and always shall be my friend.

  11. Brent Sweany says:

    ‘Arsenal of Freedom’ in TNG when Riker shows his sarcastic side. “The name of my ship is The Lollipop… it’s just been commissioned, it’ a good ship.” =D

  12. Sean says:

    Here is link to comment that did not count over on G+ to crew man ad libbing his working on wall without tools. Makes me laugh my ass off.
    http://imgur.com/gallery/6RYy1

  13. Kirk at Spock’s eulogy: “Of all the souls I’ve encountered in my travels, his was the most … human”

    I remember this line being poignant, in no small part because Kirk said it knowing full well it would have rankled Spock.

  14. Robert Carruth says:

    “There are four lights!” – Captain Picard

  15. RedHillian says:

    Emergency Medical Hologram: I’m a doctor, not a doorstop.

  16. Kato Katonian says:

    “Sir, I protest! I am NOT a Merry Man!”

  17. Trey L. says:

    Capt. Kirk: Yes, but what you’re after is a royal fizzbin, but the odds in getting a royal fizzbin are astro… Spock, what are the odds in getting a royal fizzbin?
    Spock: I’ve never computed them, Captain.
    Capt. Kirk: Well, they’re astronomical, believe me.

  18. Jackie Turner says:

    Kathryn Janeway: “It’s not crunch time yet, Mr. Kim. I’ll let you know when.” Funny, clever line, and totally set the tone for the kind of captain she was going to be :).

  19. KIRK: I suppose most of us overlook the fact that even Vulcan’s aren’t indestructable.

    From ST TOS episode Amok Time where Spock is in heat, sort of ;-)

  20. knightjorge says:

    “There are four lights!”

    Captain card being held captive and tortured by Romulans. Or was it the Cardassians? Either way, that’s my favortie quote.

  21. Kenneth Dunlap says:

    “Captain I protest! I am not a Merry Man!” Worf to Picard when finding himself dressed in costume and in Sherwood forest.

  22. David says:

    Chekov: [to a street cop] Excuse me, sir! Can you direct us to the naval base in Alameda? It’s where they keep the nuclear wessels.
    [He pauses, looks at Uhura, and tries again]
    Chekov: *Nuclear wessels*

  23. Josie Solari says:

    Jean-Luc Picard: Q, what is going on?
    Q: I told you. You’re dead. This is the afterlife. And I’m God.
    Jean-Luc Picard: [laughs scornfully] You are not God!
    Q: Blasphemy! You’re lucky I don’t cast you out or smite you or something. The bottom line is, your life ended about five minutes ago, under the inept ministrations of Dr. Beverly Crusher.
    Jean-Luc Picard: No… I am not dead. Because I refuse to believe that the afterlife is run by you. The universe is not so badly designed.

  24. bkwheel says:

    This interaction between Scotty and LaForge pretty much sums my entire life up:

    Geordi: I told the Captain I’d have this analysis done in an hour.
    Scotty: How long will it really take?
    Geordi: An hour!
    Scotty: Oh, you didn’t tell him how long it would *really* take, did ya?
    Geordi: Well, of course I did.
    Scotty: Oh, laddie. You’ve got a lot to learn if you want people to think of you as a miracle worker.

  25. Dazed and Confused says:

    “What do you want me to do?” — Q
    “Die” — Worf (Deja Q)

    I must say that of all the series Q was my favorite non-ship character.

  26. Charles Bernth says:

    Favorite Star Trek quote:
    KIRK: Pointing over his shoulder-”Where do you think you are? Back on Earth?”
    SPOCK: Pointing downward-”Earth is more in that general direction.”

  27. aproustian says:

    Jean-Luc Picard: I’ve just been paid a visit by Q.
    William Riker: Q? Any idea what he’s up to?
    Jean-Luc Picard: He wants to do something nice for me.
    William Riker: I’ll alert the crew.

  28. Sir, there is a multi-legged creature crawling on your shoulder.

  29. Nic Lewis says:

    “There is an old Vulcan proverb: Only Nixon could go to China.”

  30. Brendan says:

    When Data gets his emotion chip in Star Trek Generations

    Geordi: Data… I made that joke seven years ago.
    Data: I know! I just got it!

  31. superlion says:

    Q: If you can’t take a little bloody nose, maybe you ought to go back home and crawl under your bed. It’s not safe out here. It’s wondrous, with treasures to satiate desires both subtle and gross. But it’s not for the timid.

  32. turtlesong says:

    Q: The trial never ends. We wanted to see if you had the ability to expand your mind and your horizons. And for one brief moment, you did. (All Good Things…)

  33. James says:

    “It’s green.” – Scotty

    Simple sentence, but the context was priceless.

  34. Eric Miller says:

    General Chang: “Cry ‘havoc!’ and let slip the dogs of war”

  35. From TOS “Mirror, Mirror”

    Bones: I’m a doctor, NOT an engineer.
    Scotty: NOW you’re an engineer.

  36. Missy says:

    “Brain and brain! What is brain?”

    Spock’s Brain is the best worst episode of TOS, in my opinion. But this is from someone whose favorite series is Voyager.

  37. Jerimi says:

    Holographic Doctor: “Please state the nature of your medical emergency.”

    Seven-of-Nine: “I have a date.”

  38. jp says:

    “You have not experienced Shakespeare until you have read him in the original Klingon.”
    – Chancellor Gorkon, STAR TREK VI: THE UNDISCOVERED COUNTRY

  39. Christopher Bohn says:

    “I must say, there’s nothing like the vacuum of space for preserving a handsome corpse.” – EMH

  40. patrick foster says:

    “I don’t believe in the no-win scenario.”

    —Kirk, STII

  41. Jack Gardner says:

    Q: “You hit me! Picard never hit me!”

    Sisko: “I’m not Picard.”

    Deep Space Nine is my favorite Star Trek.

  42. Too many good choices to pick from. But I want to pick one not yet done. Hmmm

    “What does God need with a Starship?”
    Captain Kirk, Star Trek V.

    Yes, I went there.

  43. Bill says:

    Spock – “There is an old Vulcan proverb. Only Nixon could go to China.”

  44. Roger Weeks says:

    Worf to Picard: Sir, I protest! I am not a merry man!

  45. Matt Kelly says:

    “Es muy frio en espacio!!!” – From the time I happened to catch Star Trek II playing on a Spanish language station.

  46. Cynthia Weeks says:

    Picard to Data: Data, things are only impossible until they’re not.

  47. Brian Mackey says:

    “You were a lot more fun before the beard.”

  48. Skimblecat says:

    “ugly bags of mostly water” – dunno why, but that pops into my head all the time!!

  49. Shawna says:

    Riker, to Worf – “Besides, you look good in a dress”

  50. Brad Williamson says:

    Star Trek VI: The Voyage Home
    Chekov: “Admiral. We have found the nuclear wessel.”
    Love his accent!

  51. Bruce Diamond says:

    Another quote from the love-to-hate-it, hate-to-love-it episode, “Spock’s Brain.” Dr. McCoy has finished restoring Spock’s brain into his body, and Spock is describing his disembodied experience.
    McCoy [turns to Kirk]: I knew it was wrong. I shouldn’t have done it.
    Kirk: What’s that?
    McCoy: I should have never reconnected his mouth.

  52. Linda Edgar says:

    One of my favorites is Data’s Ode to Spot, from Schisms.

    Felis Cattus, is your taxonomic nomenclature,
    an endothermic quadruped carnivorous by nature?
    Your visual, olfactory and auditory senses
    contribute to your hunting skills, and natural defenses.

    I find myself intrigued by your subvocal oscillations,
    a singular development of cat communications
    that obviates your basic hedonistic predilection
    for a rhythmic stroking of your fur, to demonstrate affection.

    A tail is quite essential for your acrobatic talents;
    you would not be so agile if you lacked its counterbalance.
    And when not being utilized to aide in locomotion,
    it often serves to illustrate the state of your emotion.

    O Spot, the complex levels of behaviour you display
    connote a fairly well-developed cognitive array.
    And though you are not sentient, Spot, and do not comprehend,
    I nonetheless consider you a true and valued friend.

  53. There are four lights!

  54. Steve says:

    From memory:

    “I’ve done worse than kill you. I’ve hurt you. And I wish to go on…hurting you. I shall leave you as you left me. As you left HER. Marooned for all eternity at the center of a dead planet. Buried alive. Buried alive…..”

    You know what comes next.

  55. Michael says:

    When Worf smashes Geordi’s lute in Qpid and just says “sorry”

  56. From toward the end of “The Wounded”, one of my favorite TNG episodes:

    Chief Miles O’Brien: [singing] The minstrel boy to the war is gone /
    Chief Miles O’Brien/Capt. Benjamin Maxwell: [singing] In the ranks of death you will find him. His father’s sword he hath girded on / And his wild harp slung behind him. Land of song, said the warrior bard / Tho’ all the world betrays thee. One sword at least thy rights shall guard /
    Chief Miles O’Brien: [singing] One faithful harp shall praise thee…
    Capt. Benjamin Maxwell: I’m not going to win this one, am I Miles?
    Chief Miles O’Brien: No, sir.

  57. nusense says:

    I just laugh at any of the (numerous) times they use neutrino as part of the technobabble. As a physicist studying the interaction of neutrinos with matter for the last 30 years … I laugh because not once have they come close to using them in a sensible manner. Here’s one of the worst:

    Lt. Commander Worf: As you probably know by now, Jadzia and I will be married here on the station in six days.
    Doctor Bashir: There’s nothing more romantic than a wedding on DS9 in springtime.
    Chief O’Brien: When the neutrinos are in bloom.

  58. Jon Stoffel says:

    Spock: Your use of language has altered since our arrival. It is currently laced with, shall we say, more colorful metaphors, “double dumbass on you” and so forth.
    Kirk: Oh, you mean the profanity?
    Spock: Yes.
    Kirk: Well that’s simply the way they talk here. Nobody pays any attention to you unless you swear every other word.

    (and then later…)

    Spock: Are you sure it isn’t time for a colorful metaphor?

  59. Bram Tant says:

    “Rumors of my assimilation are greatly exaggerated.” – Captain Picard

  60. Patrick Stinson says:

    Chang: “I AM AS CONSTANT AS THE NORTHERN STAR!

    McCoy: “I’d give real money if he’d shut up.”

  61. Ryan says:

    “Of all the souls I have encountered in my travels, his was the most … human” makes me tear up just about every time.

  62. Derek says:

    Bones in Star Trek IV referring to dialysis:

    “What is this, the Dark Ages?!!”

  63. Glen Raphael says:

    “No, I’m from Iowa. I only work in outer space.”

  64. Shervyn says:

    It has to be:

    Shaka, when the walls fell

  65. ‘But sir… this was a matter of Pride!’
    -some guy whose ashes made it out of the troposphere last week.

  66. U2NhbHpp says:

    My usual favorite bit is James R. Kirk, but that’s not technically a quote. Instead, we’ll go with Tasha Yar to Data:
    “It. Never. Happened.”

  67. Interloper says:

    One from Odo in Deep Space Nine:

    “Cardassian rule may have been oppressive, but at least it was simple!”

  68. Joe Covenant says:

    Man where do you start!? Anything by Q; Data drinking goo; Get the cheese to sickbay, lots by tovuk… “If you were any other man….”
    But JUST edging it for me…?

    It was either this, or almost any of Picard’s round-ups during Chain of Command….

    “They invade our space, and we fall back. They assimilate countless worlds, and we fall back. Not again. Not this time. A line must be drawn HERE! This far and no farther! And I will make them PAY for what they have done!” J.L Picard.
    (No-one else could have delivered this line!)

  69. Robin says:

    In one episode Worf had to pose as the captain to trick some klingons who think the war is still on. Afterward, Worf is asked how it felt being the captain. He ponders for a moment, then responds:

    “comfortable chair”

  70. Kirk says:

    War isn’t a good life, but it’s life. Jame T Kirk

  71. Bryce says:

    “All I ask is a tall ship and a star to steer her by” -Kirk quoting poet John Masefield

  72. N. Celestina White says:

    Third of Five: Are you ever… lonely?
    Lt. Commander Geordi La Forge: Sometimes. But that’s why we have friends.
    Third of Five: Friends?
    Lt. Commander Geordi La Forge: Sure. Someone you can talk to. Who will be with you when you’re lonely. Someone… someone who makes you feel better.
    Third of Five: Like Geordi – and Hugh.

  73. Arun S says:

    Everybody remember where we parked. – Kirk after landing the Bird of Prey

  74. Mike McAllister says:

    “The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few.”

  75. “I come for you, James T. Kirk.”

  76. Ars Legendi says:

    “I don’t see no points on your ears, boy, but you sound like a Vulcan.”

    “No, sir, I am an android.”

    “Huh. Almost as bad.”

  77. koblas says:

    I’m giving her all she’s got, Captain!

  78. Carl says:

    “There. Are. Four. Lights!”
    Picard being tortured by the Kardassians in TNG. most moving piece of sci-fi television I’d ever seen. Still with me all these years later. Probably had as profound an impact on me as Animal Farm and 1984. Well done.

  79. Ktdata says:

    Worf in Star Trek First Contact: “Assimilate This!”

  80. JC says:

    Lt. Commander Data: Judging by her appearance, it is likely you and Salia are biologically compatible. Of course there could be a difference in the histocompatibility complex of the cell membrane, but…
    Wesley Crusher: Data – I want to meet her, not dissect her.

  81. Chris says:

    From TNG: The Dauphin episode.

    Wesley: I think I need to try something a little less… dangerous.
    Worf: Go to her door. Beg like a human.

  82. Sonja says:

    Star Trek VI:

    Kirk: “Bones! Where’s that damned torpedo?”
    McCoy: “She’s ready Jim, lock and load!”
    Kirk: “Fire!”
    Chang: “To be, or not to be…”
    Sulu: “Target that explosion and fire!”
    Kirk: “Fire!”

  83. Miriam says:

    “It’s green.”

  84. Karen Lofstrom says:

    “He’s dead, Jim.”

  85. kim turner says:

    “Vulcans. Deep down you’re all just a bunch of hypochondriacs.” Paris to Tuvok (from Voyager season 3 finale).

  86. Derek Meier says:

    “Everybody remember where we parked.”

  87. P. K. says:

    I am NOT a merry man! – Worf

  88. Jeremy says:

    The peice I will always remember fondly was when they were dealing with a creature that was made up of silicate and rock which was “attacking” miners. Comes to find out, the creature was only trying to protect its babies (thank you Vulcan mind meld). The being took some damage, however and was in bad shape. Kirk, not knowing what else to do, turns to Bones and tries to spur the good doctor into action. McCoy looks to Kirk, and says with frustration “DAMMIT, JIM! I’m a Doctor, not a stonemason”.

  89. Erik says:

    “Vhere are you nuclear wessels” – Chekov, in Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home.

  90. Jeff Hudson says:

    “Our neural pathways have become accustomed to your sensory input patterns.” – Data

  91. George W Harris says:

    “Not chess, Mr. Spock. Poker!” The Corbomite Maneuver, Star Trek, November 10, 1966.

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